WHAT IS YOUR PARENTING STYLE ?
Parenting is a tough job as much as it is fun filled and joyous, it has its downs, and I have no doubt that all parents will agree with me on that. You need a different set of parenting skills from when your child is a toddler, to a naughty preteen, a gawky teen, ‘I know it all young adult’ and once your child is an adult, he /she does not want any form of parenting, but in realty parenting continues till ones’ last breath! Perhaps this is true for every generation!
From the recent spate of on-screen popular Netflix serials and movies, it is interesting to see that they portray different parenting styles.
One of them is Bandish Bandits, the much-appreciated musical serial that keeps you hooked till the end, is quite poignant in this aspect as much as in various others! In fact, it brought to my mind not one, but 4 types of unique parenting styles. So; what is discussed here are the styles of the grandfather and mother of the hero; family that respects and represents tradition; mother and father of the heroine, a family representative of modern times. 1.Traditional Autocratic: This style is essayed by Naseeruddin Shaw with elan and effortlessness as only a veteran actor can do. In this style it is not only strict and authoritarian where all rules of respect, boundaries, and tasks have to be followed to the T, it also means no showing of warmth and love even though it is there in abundance underneath the surface. This was typical of what it was in yester years, and perhaps now too in many households. The patriarchal position is dare not questioned. His decision is final.
2. Collaborative Participative:
This is the style the daughter in law of the house that she resorts to, up until then, her approach is subdued and she is a meek follower of norms in the family, however she literally breaks out of her cocoon, breaking all norms when the family is in a crisis, she stands by her son and helps him to accomplish his much desired goal by collaborating with him and helping him develop his talent and skill in music to a level of an extraordinaire….by invoking her musical talent and skills which too were kept subdued until then!
3. Ambitious Authoritarian:
This is the style portrayed by the mother of the female lead in the serial, here she is overly ambitious for her daughter to make it big in the field of music, in which the child has both talent and interest, and the mother does not hesitate to push, pull and even punish to make her achieve this. As a youngster the girl loathes her mother for it, but realises much later in life that it was perhaps done for her good and regrets the lost mother daughter relationship for many years.
The style portrayed by the father of the female lead where he wants to protect her at all costs and allows her to do only what she cherishes and gives to her total freedom in all her endeavors. It is interesting to see that child who loved him for it feels regret when she grows up into an adult!
This is an interesting concoction of parenting styles rolled into one serial.
What is recommended is the Authoritative Style, where the parent is nurturing, however disciplinary rules are set and explained, and expected to be followed. Goals are set high, but children are allowed to have their say. Communication is frequent and free flowing.
As parents we may perhaps be a mix of the above depending on the situation or perhaps fall into one of the types most of the time. One thing however is certain, one can never be a perfect parent just as there is no perfect human being!
What do you think is your style?
Author: Dr Sabita Prasad